You Want To Put What Where?

TMI Tuesday: July 30, 2019

Let’s get right to it, this week’s TMI Tuesday is posted.

 

 

1. If you were a sex worker what kind of sex work would you NOT do?

Like all human beings I have been working for sex, at sex, or because of sex since the moment I discovered my special purpose. Ergo I am a sex worker. As a sex worker I will have no doings with human traffickers. Through publishing, films, and living life I may have inadvertently crossed paths with a few; I have never transacted commerce or sex with said criminals or their victims knowingly.

2. You are a sex worker and you must have a specialty. Which ONE of the following would be your specialty and why?
a. Live sex shows

(a) It is always live. Otherwise it would be necrophilia, and unless previous arrangement was made their could be no consent: implied or otherwise. Not to mention the whole concept to me is just plain icky.
b. Professional domination
c. Camming

3. What is your secret fetish?

Massage. Giving and receiving. As vanilla as that sounds you would be surprised where such intimate rubbings lead.

4. Anal sex can be pretty alluring? Tell the truth, which do you prefer anal or vaginal sex?

As a pitcher I say nothing beats the V. Not to mention indiscreet buggery can create many an unanticipated issue. But if you are game I shall be a careful practitioner.

5. What is the most embarrassing thing you have said during sex?

Your sister never ever lets me put that there.

Bonus: Is your g-spot in your ass? If no, where is it?

If in g-spot you are referring to my goofy spot, why it is all in my head silly.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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Functionally Disfunctional

In the morning

In the evening

She would be waiting

She would be on her knees

In a jiffy

Taking me in her mouth

Taking me with swirling tongue

Sucking lips

Slurping in between gagging reflexes

She sure knew how to suck my cock

But then her tight little cunt would call me

I know some women don’t like that word

I don’t care

She loved it

Demanded it

I obliged

I would talk about her cunt

How it felt to be in her cunt

How her cunt felt on my fingers

Her whispering cunt

Her tasty cunt

Her wet cunt

Her tight cunt

She would come on the spot

From me talking cunt

Then I would push into her cunt

With my stiff cock

Hard at the thought of her cunt

Harder than ever

Harder than Chinese Algebra

My cock splitting her cunt wide open

She would come again

And again

Fucking her between clenching orgasms

Could be challenging

Because she came a lot

Clenching orgasms

Shivering orgasms

Screaming orgasms

Oh how she came

Because her cunt was

soooooooooo

gooooooooooooooooooooooooood

I would come too

Und jetzt

On her knees between my legs

I’m in her mouth

Again she would suck me

Lick my balls

Her fingers would stroke

She wants me to come in her mouth

Insistent

Demanding

Begin the Beguine again

Friday Night Follies

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Another Friday night at the office.

Panties were dropping like raindrops on an April morning.

Condom wrappers ripped open like bodices in a cheap romance novella.

Women enjoyed their sex fingering themselves like an oboe aficionado.

Eyes were opened wider and legs were spread like butter on a biscuit.

My orgasm dangling like her thong was off her upraised stiletto heel.

Just another Friday night at the office.

 

ToBe or NotToBe

TMI Tuesday: May 14, 2019

TMI Tuesday is up! Get your creative juices going and tell all.

1. What is the rudest thing you have ever done?

Rude is in the eye of the beholder.

2. What do you like more being a leader or follower? Why?

Neither a leader nor a follower be.  Skip to your own lou

3. If you are single, what do you miss most about being a couple? If you are in a relationship, what do you miss most about being single?

As a single geezer I miss the sharing and the caring couples can have.

4. If you could hack into any computer whose computer would you hack?

No ones. I’m just not that curious. But once upon a time I did use a network sniffer on my home wi-fi router. I am both grateful and forever saddened by what I learned.

5. If you could shop for free at one store (brick ‘n’ mortar, not online), what store would it be?

Best Buy. That’s entertainment.

Bonus: What is the biggest favor a friend has done for you? Do you feel you must return the favor?

Biggest favor a friend has done for me was being my friend. I try to be a true friend as well when apropos.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Time and Venue TBD

TMI Tuesday: May 7, 2019

May is Masturbation Month. Let’s first celebrate by playing this TMI Tuesday. Second, please go celebrate by giving yourself some glorious “self pleasure” aka go masturbate!

1. Can one masturbate too much?

Anything in excess can be a bad thing. How much is too much can be handled only by you.

2. Do you masturbate daily?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. “The pursuit of foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.” – Emmerson

3. Do you masturbate significantly more than you have sex with another person?
A. Yes
B. No

C. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. If you are looking for a lifetime aggregate; life is too short to do the ciphering. “If you can’t be with the one you love. Love the one you’re with.” – Crosby Stills Nash & Young

 

4. Can you go one week without masturbating?
A. Yes

…and I have many times. But edging frequently while taking advantage of myself does make the heart grow fonder – me
B. No
C. Only if I could have sex at least every other day

 

5. Are you comfortable casually admitting to others that you masturbate?
A. Yes
B. Depends on Who I’m Talking To.

I have no compunction to bust that nut on every Tom, Dick, and Harriett I meet on the street. But if the conversation does reach out to that topic I will certainly take that unicorn by the horn and spew my rainbow of experience upon request.
C. No

 

6. Would you be comfortable performing a masturbation “show” in front of your lover?

 

A. Yes

Times and venue available upon request.
B. Maybe, Depends on the Personality of My Lover
C. No

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public place? Where? Why?
A. Yes
B. No

Nobody wants to see that sort of unsolicited performance when they are going about their business. But if you do…

Times and venue available upon request.

 

Bonus: Would you rather. . .
Never masturbate again?  OR
Have to masturbate five times a day, every day, forever?

Since I have other hobbies and interests besides philately I would say never again as long as it does not preclude me from receiving such intimate services and an occasional stamp licking. I would make time and situate myself accordingly to receive such delights.

May 28 is Wanker’s Day!

“Wank on you crazy diamonds” – Pink Floyd and me

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Stufferegette Sity

TMI Tuesday: April 30, 2019

Fun, fun, fun…TMI Tuesday is up!

1. I can flex my flexibility reflex .

2. My neighbor is out of control they tried to stuff my stuffer into their tight little stuffette .

3. If you were known as a do-it-yourselfer, what is it that you diy?

If you want something done right you have to do it it yourself. Except fuck yourself. It’s okay though because you will be fucked by many others many times and fucked real good.

4. Dear god look at the size of those tits.

5. My morning routine is the best.

Bonus: If you could watch a movie about everything that happened in your life thus far, would you enjoy that movie? How many stars would you give the movie, 1=terrible   5=best movie ever

Yes I would enjoy it because it is the best movie I ever had, ever will have, and will always be having. I give it five stars and ten buns up. But life is too short for all that ciphering, so don’t forget to carry the aught.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Hop. Skip. Jump.

TMI Tuesday: April 23, 2019

They’re here! TMI Tuesday questions.

1. What is it about a woman or man that would drive you crazy?

In a good way or a bad way? Either way it’s not much of a drive. More of a hop, skip, and a jump.

2. If your employer offered an “afternoon delight break” where you leave work for an hour to go have sex, would you take that break?

Indeed. I think I would take two hours just to push the envelope.

3. On your afternoon delight break would you most often have sex with (pick one):
a. Yourself
b. A stranger (e.g., app hook-up, sex worker)
c. Your significant other

d. All of the above because whoever I spend the afternoon delight break with would be my significant other, even if just for that hour.

4. What is your best way of sustaining an erection?

Talk dirty to me and those two inches of solid blue granite will never crack.

5. Tell us the top two (2) sexual things you hate to do?

Figuring out the clasps on a bra and taking off pantyhose.

Bonus: What embarrasses you the most?

The way my eyes go instantly to a woman’s breasts no matter how hard I try to behave myself and be respectful. 

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!